Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes....

how do you measure, measure a year?
in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
in cups of coffee
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

i contemplated deleting this blog -- making everything disappear related to my now non-pending nuptials. buuuutt I figured why, what's the point? it's my blog, i can do what i want. so, instead, i updated my URL, kept the name (it still applies :)) and changed the description, because now, this is about me and me only.

above are lyrics from one of my favorite musicals, RENT. this past year has been the most amazing, inspiring, heart breaking year of my life. i experienced my dearest dreams and my worst nightmares in 525,600 minutes. one of my greatest friends, and former companions reentered my life and professed his love to me, and i allowed him back into my life. we journeyed across the caribbean seas, and back. as we entered into 2010 he asked me to be his wife. i embarked on a journey of planning my dream wedding, pursuing nursing school, becoming an aunt, and preparing to be a wife. a part of that journey has ended, and though i might venture on that road again, it won't be with him.

i keep hearing, "things happen for a reason," "God has so much in store for you, a plan, just for you." and as much as i hold those words true to my heart, right now, i'm in shock. disbelief. as quickly as a good thing happens, it can crumble before you. i won't bash my former love, because truly, i still love him. for 13 years he was a part of my life, possibly to prepare me for this moment, maybe only to prepare me for the next moment, and each one thereafter.

more than ever, i'm motivated. motivated to keep pushing forward. keep doing me and accomplishing so much in this lifetime. i want nothing more than to get married and become a mommy. and make no mistake, i'm a firm believer that a man does not dictate my destiny, but I would love to share that journey with someone. the RIGHT someone. today, i will put that part of my dreams aside and work on being the best me i can be. for now, i'll just say, thanks God -- good looking out ;)

Toodles,

T.

p.s. this continues to be my mantra -- "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -- Jeremiah 29:11

keep me in your hearts and prayers you all. i'm smiling, but all healing takes time. to my aces, friends, sorors and fam....thanks for your never ending love and support.